a sit down with the guys

I have come across various blogs with various posts about various aspects about the election. Or rather, the first round of the elections. I have decided to be a good sport and join in.

Recently, I sat down with all the candidates and had a good talk. After the elections… FIRST ROUND. They are a lively bunch, let me tell you. Since I forgot to video it or record an audio, here’s a transcript of the conversation.

ME: Hey that was a good first round, wasn’t it? Too bad only two of you get to go any further, huh?

MAU: Yes, I was rather looking forward to pulverizing everyone. Did you know I got the most percentage out of all the candidates? I was all giddy and shaking in my presidential shoes with ecstasy!

ME: You were that happy, huh?

MAU: No, you don’t understand… ECSTASY! I was riding a purple dragon while swinging a glowing light saber!

ANNI: The Christmas party stash?

MAU: YEA! Thanks again for that.

ANNI: Anytime, man!

iBRA: How come I never get anything?

UMAR: That’s because you’re a crippled fag, man!

ME: HEY! There’s no need for name calling, Umar. Now apologise to the cripple.

iBRA: What the…

ME, UMAR: LOLZ!!

ANNI: Where the fuck is Gaabe’?

MAU: Out to get something.

UMAR: That was some good shit, Anni. Got anything else?

ANNI: I thought you were gonna kill drug dealers, dude.

MAU: Yea, what’s that about, man? What about the money?

UMAR: It’s not dealing if you just GIVE me the stash, man! Ease up… have a drag of this joint.

iBRA: This sucks! I never get to do anything fun.

ME: That’s because you suck, man! I mean, your own party members haven’t voted for you. 0.86%? really?

iBRA: Shut up! Your face is ugly!

HASSAN: Don’t be trippin’ fool!

ME: Look who finally decided to open his mouth.

HASSAN: You know it, dawg! You my homie!

MAU: When did he spout wings?

ANNI: Oh, hehehe… slipped some LSD in his vodka… bitch be trippin’

MAU: Hey, so, whats this about a coalition?

ANNI: Oh, that’s just my gimmick, dude. Don’t worry, the people are eating it like hotdogs… or something.

GASIM: Hey I’m here! Who wants some weed?

UMAR: Already got some.

ME: So, what do you think will happen?

MAU: you talk too much. Here, have a bite of this… whatyoucallit… cake.

ANNI: Yeah. Eat it.

HASSAN, UMAR, GASIM, iBRA: eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat!

ME: okay okay! Let me have that… hmm… spicy but sweet…

That’s all I remember. I woke up hours later, they had gone, and the cash missing from my wallet. Damn hippies.