Monday, December 07, 2009

Free excuses, free of charge.

We see chicks with buruga. And we see chicks without buruga. As it was fashionable to don a buruga two to three years ago, it is now a fad to take it off. Here are some excuses to do so. Please note that these excuses are mildly researched so that parents may accept them too, because most Maldivian parents are kind of stupid. Any parent who lets their girl prance around in Islamic slut wear is safe to be considered so.

To sum up, the following are excuses or reasons to take the frikking thing off.

1. It doesn’t match with your clothes

2. It makes your hair frizzy

3. It makes your scalp itch, due to a scalp infection, which occurred because of the restricted airflow to your scalp

4. You want to have a career and everyone knows burugees can’t get ahead in this world

5. You wore buruga because you had sinned and wanted to atone for them. Now that you’ve failed to atone, might as well do it half naked.

6. Deep down, you are a skank. But you don’t want to make a mockery of religion.

7. You’re wearing tight jeans that show of your ass anyway, so why not show more?

8. You aren’t doing the world any favors by not showing us cleavage.

9. Cleavage is important.

10. All hail cleavage.

11. Listen, you all are probably going to hell anyway. I’ve seen the list, and it is preeeetty long.

12. We all know you like to show us that bodonkadonk.

13. If your grabastic, you owe us some eye candy.

14. It no longer matches your moral view. (you have no morals)

15. It makes you look fatter than you really are. No, I’m serious.

16. Why look like you are at 50% when you can be a 100%?

17. The beardies target chicks in buruga for their sex slave industry (statistically unproven, but a scary thought.)

18. Here’s a good one: Wearing buruga makes you irresistible to men, and you are endlessly hounded on the street.

19. You aren’t within your parents reach in a foreign land.

20. There was supposed to be a twentieth point, but I can’t be bothered.