Monday, July 20, 2009

A Thousand Apologies

I was recently directed to a blog about apologies. This was done so by a friend. And if this is a subtle hint at something, I don’t get it.

This particular blog has people apologizing to other people anonymously. It is pointless, but endlessly fun to read.

So, in light of this awesomely hilarious blog, I decided to dedicate this post to apologizing to people. Only not anonymously.

There are a few people that I might have offended over the course of my life. This is a start.

I wholeheartedly apologize to all the trainee teachers I have come across during the course of my school years. I did not in anyway wish to participate in the verbal abuse and projectile attacks which led to your crying in the middle of the class. Okay maybe that’s a lie. It was totally fun. But I am still sorry. Somewhat.

I apologize to all shallow materialistic slutbuckets for calling you all shallow materialistic slutbuckets. When in fact you should have been called blood sucking, soul draining cockbites.

I am sorry for always having it in for rich, spoilt brats. So you never had to work and had everything handed to you. So what? You still have your mommies to wipe your asses, don’t you?

I am sorry for calling the Islamic fundies by names. I shouldn’t have done that. You all are beyond words and names. You all are the scum of the earth. Pedophilia in the name of religion is still pedophilia. Murder in the name of religion is still murder, you ass sucking turd nuggets! Oh dear… I did it again.

I apologize to Amjay for being the fucktard he is. I am sorry that you are a fucking idiot, and I am sorry that you are a disgrace to the human race. I am sorry you are so ugly and fat. I am sorry you can’t see your own penis. I am also sorry to have seen that filth you spew and call movies. I only wish that you realize what a pathetic waste of space you are.

I am sorry, anonymous cowards. I am sorry you weren’t born without a spine.

That was a load off my chest! I am glad I took the time to do this. I feel like a better person already. Thank you all for being part of this process. This is healing in the works. This is the more beautiful side of human nature.