Monday, July 20, 2009

A Thousand Apologies

I was recently directed to a blog about apologies. This was done so by a friend. And if this is a subtle hint at something, I don’t get it.

This particular blog has people apologizing to other people anonymously. It is pointless, but endlessly fun to read.

So, in light of this awesomely hilarious blog, I decided to dedicate this post to apologizing to people. Only not anonymously.

There are a few people that I might have offended over the course of my life. This is a start.

I wholeheartedly apologize to all the trainee teachers I have come across during the course of my school years. I did not in anyway wish to participate in the verbal abuse and projectile attacks which led to your crying in the middle of the class. Okay maybe that’s a lie. It was totally fun. But I am still sorry. Somewhat.

I apologize to all shallow materialistic slutbuckets for calling you all shallow materialistic slutbuckets. When in fact you should have been called blood sucking, soul draining cockbites.

I am sorry for always having it in for rich, spoilt brats. So you never had to work and had everything handed to you. So what? You still have your mommies to wipe your asses, don’t you?

I am sorry for calling the Islamic fundies by names. I shouldn’t have done that. You all are beyond words and names. You all are the scum of the earth. Pedophilia in the name of religion is still pedophilia. Murder in the name of religion is still murder, you ass sucking turd nuggets! Oh dear… I did it again.

I apologize to Amjay for being the fucktard he is. I am sorry that you are a fucking idiot, and I am sorry that you are a disgrace to the human race. I am sorry you are so ugly and fat. I am sorry you can’t see your own penis. I am also sorry to have seen that filth you spew and call movies. I only wish that you realize what a pathetic waste of space you are.

I am sorry, anonymous cowards. I am sorry you weren’t born without a spine.

That was a load off my chest! I am glad I took the time to do this. I feel like a better person already. Thank you all for being part of this process. This is healing in the works. This is the more beautiful side of human nature.

18 comments:

Naduha said...

well directing you there wasnt a hint, but rather showing you somthing that interested me, but i like the outcome it brought by giving you the link... hehe and i think u need to apologize again

Bakhabaru said...

This is going to become a never-ending cycle, I see. Next you need to apologize for publishing this. And I have a feeling you're going to need to write another one to make up for that one too. Talk about being on a roll. hyuk hyuk...

Hilath said...

You didn't apologise enough ;)

Trooper said...

Hey wait! You haven't apologised to that ugly smear on the face of humanity called Seezorn who was born stupid and worthless and still had to work hard to become lame enough for his mother to wish she had swallowed instead.

knaschru said...

c'mon naduha. dont be shy.

lyna said...

dat was touching *rolls eyes*

The Shadowrunner said...

I HAVE TO DO THIS.

Blue said...

Sometimes barbed apologies make the best last words.

Amusing blog, this one. Love the perpetual sarcasm.

Iya said...

@naduha:: too much apologies can be injurious to health. honest.

@bakhabaru:: doubt it, my hillbilly style laughing friends.

@hilath:: no, this is plenty.

@trooper:: seaxorn isnt worth an apology. and you are right about the mom. heard she's been around the block a few times, though.

@knaschru:: what?

@lyna:: of course its touching! its a shame its just emotionally touching, if you get the drift.

@shadowrunner:: by all means. please do.

@blue:: what makes the last best words then? gurgled flatulence?

ie cco said...

awww the sweetest apology post i ever read!

Anonymous said...

ur one hell o a dude. *clap clap*

Nynaeve said...

Healing in the works!! A well deserved round of applause goes for you!!!

Anonymous said...

i hear you are closet islamic fundamentalist...

Anonymous said...

hey iyash, you tall dark not-so-handsome man *hint* i still read your stuff and here i am leaving an 'anonymous' comment... i think i need more happy pills!
good writing btw

Iya said...

@ie cco:: I am sweet. Thank you for noticing.

@anonymous:: I'm one hell or a dude? dude, thats not cool.

@nynaeve:: I am a fast healer. I am all better now. though i DID injure myself the other day... but its healing again.

@anonymous:: We all hear a lot of things. I hear you have guano in your ears.

@anonymous:: I wouldnt have known your comment was an anonymous one if you hadnt told me. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

very saucy, iyash! i like :)

Anonymous said...

i heard that you had a 'thing' with amjad and are still bitter about being dumped.... is it true?

Thom said...

Clap... clap... clapping furiously!..
That was... Magnificent!
:P
I wonder what the response to these clearly, heartfelt apolgies might be?
Nothing short of thrilled... I'm sure