Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Bill, please.

When I first saw the posters for the now famous Bilal Philips (Bill) I was indifferent. Who cares, right? But then, Bill actually came and the Islamic type people where real excited. After all, this was a big deal for them. Billy was here.
So he came, and started talking a lot of bullshit.

Bill said it was okay to marry underage children. Because apparently, according to Islam, once a girl experiences her first… ugh… menstruation, she's eligible for marriage (and sex). Well, Bill, you gave all the haabees a boner there.

Bill confirmed that it was alright for your babies to get the proper vaccinations. Thank you Billy. We couldn’t have known that babies with not yet fully functional immune systems and whatnot need essential medical care without you telling us.

I am not here for that. Underage sex slaves and other shit, while important, isn’t as important as this. Who the fuck gave you the right to diss smoking?
Apparently smoking is not allowed in Islam.

Who the fuck gave you the right to fuck with peoples’ heads, Bill? I thought you were cool. You had the wacky hat and everything. I will not stand idly by when people are quitting based on your biased opinion. It’s true. People are actually quitting because you dragged your lanky ass on that stage and started spewing out your bullshit. Fuck you and anyone you are associated with.

I will smoke twice as much now just out of spite. Also, all this time, if a person didn’t smoke, I left him/her alone… from now on, I will make people smoke. Get them addicted. I will distribute free cigarettes for school children. I will pass out cigars at hospitals. I will make Male’ a fucking smoking only zone. We will win by sheer numbers, Bill. We will kill you to death by passive smoking your retarded ass.
And I call upon all smokers! Do your part! We shall not let some self righteous dickweed tell us what to do. We shall unite, yet once again (I know I call out for unity oh so often) and obliterate these non believers of the power of tobacco! If they call us infidels to the way of religion, fuck them and call them tobacco infidels!

Fuck you Bill, and have a nice life in brown town.