I have come across various blogs with various posts about various aspects about the election. Or rather, the first round of the elections. I have decided to be a good sport and join in.
Recently, I sat down with all the candidates and had a good talk. After the elections… FIRST ROUND. They are a lively bunch, let me tell you. Since I forgot to video it or record an audio, here’s a transcript of the conversation.
ME: Hey that was a good first round, wasn’t it? Too bad only two of you get to go any further, huh?
MAU: Yes, I was rather looking forward to pulverizing everyone. Did you know I got the most percentage out of all the candidates? I was all giddy and shaking in my presidential shoes with ecstasy!
ME: You were that happy, huh?
MAU: No, you don’t understand… ECSTASY! I was riding a purple dragon while swinging a glowing light saber!
ANNI: The Christmas party stash?
MAU: YEA! Thanks again for that.
ANNI: Anytime, man!
iBRA: How come I never get anything?
UMAR: That’s because you’re a crippled fag, man!
ME: HEY! There’s no need for name calling, Umar. Now apologise to the cripple.
iBRA: What the…
ME, UMAR: LOLZ!!
ANNI: Where the fuck is Gaabe’?
MAU: Out to get something.
UMAR: That was some good shit, Anni. Got anything else?
ANNI: I thought you were gonna kill drug dealers, dude.
MAU: Yea, what’s that about, man? What about the money?
UMAR: It’s not dealing if you just GIVE me the stash, man! Ease up… have a drag of this joint.
iBRA: This sucks! I never get to do anything fun.
ME: That’s because you suck, man! I mean, your own party members haven’t voted for you. 0.86%? really?
iBRA: Shut up! Your face is ugly!
HASSAN: Don’t be trippin’ fool!
ME: Look who finally decided to open his mouth.
HASSAN: You know it, dawg! You my homie!
MAU: When did he spout wings?
ANNI: Oh, hehehe… slipped some LSD in his vodka… bitch be trippin’
MAU: Hey, so, whats this about a coalition?
ANNI: Oh, that’s just my gimmick, dude. Don’t worry, the people are eating it like hotdogs… or something.
GASIM: Hey I’m here! Who wants some weed?
UMAR: Already got some.
ME: So, what do you think will happen?
MAU: you talk too much. Here, have a bite of this… whatyoucallit… cake.
ANNI: Yeah. Eat it.
HASSAN, UMAR, GASIM, iBRA: eat, eat, eat, eat, eat, eat!
ME: okay okay! Let me have that… hmm… spicy but sweet…
That’s all I remember. I woke up hours later, they had gone, and the cash missing from my wallet. Damn hippies.