What? Me? Quit?

Fellow readers (if I have any) I have started my usual chain of smoking again. Yes. It was inevitable. I can’t stop. There is no hope. But I’m here to tell you that I have tried. So hard. Last year alone, I must have tried about 17 times to quit. But it turns out I’m not a quitter. Which would be a good quality, if it didn’t have a high probability of lung cancer.

I tried to take my mind off of smoking. Rid myself of every lighter, every pack, every cigar. ANYTHING that reminded me of smoking. I felt good. I hadn’t smoked that day… THEN I went to a coffee. Damn, was that a mistake or what? I mean, how stupid could I BE? Smoke flying left and right. And unfortunately my coffee gang has a very diverse taste in ciggies. Marlboros, Calmels, Mild sevens, even Dunhills, for crying out loud! I lasted a total of six hours on that attempt. I had to buy a new pack and lighter, dig out the dustbin for my collectible lighters and cigars. I know… pathetic.

Then I quit again. Cold turkey. Strong will power. I wasn’t gonna smoke. Ever. Yes sir. No more smoke for me. No taste of tobacco. No more going out for a smoke when I’m stressed out. No more flicking my lighter. No more future Zippo plan. I would NOT. No more smell of tobacco. Sweet tobacco. Smooth tobacco. My true companion… by burning friend… aaaaaaannnnd before I knew it, I was smoking a ciggie. 15 minutes, that attempt lasted.

I am a victim of circumstance. Totally. You really can’t blame me. The most successful attempt lasted eight days. EIGHT DAYS!!! I went eight days before the stress got to me. And the most pathetic attempt was the last time I tried to quit. I tried the whole “decreasing dose” method. Let me tell you people… it doesn’t work. It only makes the craving more intense. The damned hippie who came up with that method can burn in the everlasting fires of hell for all I care. When you start smoking less and TRY to decrease the amount you smoke, the desire to light another one always kicks in. Damn!

I guess some people are meant to quit and some people aren’t. I’m just too stubborn for my own good.

Women superior? : My opinion

I'm sorry I havent been with you guys for quite some time. I return with what might be my most gender biased piece yet.
I had an interesting conversation with Bulhaa the other day in shich she claimed that females were the superior on the sexes in terms of knowledge. This intrigued me, somewhat...

For those of you who have already labelled me as a sexist, well.. theres nothing much to be done about that, as I attempt to dismantle the claims made by our beloved Bulhaa.

"Girls are superior in knowledge"
Women say this a lot, this is a misconception. Only they have a need to show that they know something. A superiority complex, if you will... While women waste time trying to outwit everyone by being "clever" and "witty", men dont feel the need to show off intellect. you will notice that girls at a guy coffee will sit quietly most of the time. Of course, we guys dont really get all up in each others faces and make ourselves feel all great and "cool". We have fun, and as a result, girls, being all "knowing" fell that we are... "stupid", when, in fact, we are "funny"

Fun fact:
I hold the record in my circle of friends for most distance achieved for jamming a finger up my nose. This might seem disgusting to most, but still fun.

"Girls can wrap a guy around their pinky"
Let me hit you with some timeless wisdom. There are different types of guys. and the guys you "wrap around your pinky" has an interest in you. but of COURSE u know that already.

Fact: girls openly express disgust for guys who brag about their "conquests".

How is this any different? Girls pick up on when a guy "likes" her and tends to manipulate this emotionally unstable individual for her needs.
common manipulation techniques:
"Hey *insert name here* I'm getting sooooooo late for *insert dramatized situation here* and I'd reeeeaaaally appreciate it if you could drop me off"

"*insert name here, often elongated into multiple syllables* I'm soooo hungry... would you take me to dinner? Yes? oh, and my friends *insert multiple girl nicknames here* will come too! THANX!!"

There are those of us who are unwavered by the suggestive tones of these kinds of people. guys who are smart. Im not talking about booksmart. Im talking Streetsmart. We shall rise and end the tyranny of the evil manipulative suggestive natured females!! UNITE, AND WE SHALL PREVAIL!!! sorry for the outburst, I couldnt help myself. Totally worth it.

So thats it for now... I guess the scratching and eye poking will start now... go nuts!