Monday, September 12, 2011

The sad song of whateverrrr

I’ve been listening to a song of late. This song, I find, heard too many times is kind of annoying. Okay I fib. It is, in fact, very annoying. This is not a song with music attached to it, not sung in a melodic way in which to please our sound receptors. This song is more of a whining. A whining of a certain group of people.

People who keep telling me that this here Male’ is a boring place. The song in question is the repetitive complaints they spew out.

"What-EVRRR! This place sucks! How can I enjoy anything without a Starbucks?"
"I'm like, SO bored! Let's go like, hang at the mall... oh wait... you don't have one. what-everrrr!"
and I'm like, "I don't know whats sadder, your complete disregard for your country or your fucking face."

I think words in the form of a rant just seems inadequate here. Let us try something else here. By us, I mean of course, me. Here is my response to you guys in the form of a little poem.

This place is dark, dreary and glum
This place is somewhat a giant slum
Fret do the naysayers and look down their noses
Expecting assorted pleasures on a bed of roses
While one agrees that here, pickings are slim
One must point out that all is not so grim
We don’t have McDonald’s, Pizza Huts or Starbucks
I find it hard to give a shit, a damn or two fucks
While we don’t hang around all day at huge malls
To enjoy life in this part of the world takes huge balls
I may not know the experience of a club or rave
I find such shallow endeavors is not something I really crave
While you may claim that we only have coffee after coffee
I just think that’s what you do, being so idle and time so free
I might not have the fancy life you do, but know this for sure
People here who have purpose, and convictions pure,
Have no trouble filling their lives with meaning and substance
You wander around in its complete absence
When you all come back from that three year clusterfuck
I shall still pat your back and wish you good luck.

 Schooled, bitches.


ieccco said...

hahahaha!!! loved the ending!
but yeah Iya! lets go for a coffee :P

useful.idiot said...

true and straight to the point. you have once again outdone yourself! being away from home for 4 years I know how annoying it is when people bitch about home no matter how shitty and God forsaken it is.

Jean said...

Ever tried your talents with rapping? And thats a compliment. Awesome wrap-up!

Anonymous said...


Jean said...

o_o Uh-oh, did I trip over the security lasers? Sorry if it was offensive or anything!!! (Mumbling my final prayers) But it really IS an impressive post!

Anonymous said...

can i make a rap song sung by eminem for this?? or maybe a heavy metal song done by metallica??

Nuvana said...

Haha! I love cafes in Male'. Especially those by the beach side.

//Sub/Corpus said...

Yeah ... I have that song before ... actually I've heard many versions and covers of that song ... :P

Blue said...

I am infinitely grateful we don't have McD, Pizza Hut, Starbucks or any of that crap!

Y'know, underneath the rubble - both literal and metaphorical - Male' is beyond doom and gloom. Much joy and amusement can be found in the most simplest of places (like eating ambu and rihaakuru at the gaadiyaa near IGMH while combing the night sky for satellites). And then there's Villingili and Hulhumale' - excellent places to embark on an adventure to find the yummiest joospetty ever!

Ugly_y said...

Hehehe u gotta listen to the ehadhanugairemix den:p nice one though

Seriously Though said...

so glad i found this blog. it is most entertaining and also, may I say, thought-provoking. I have no idea where Male' is, I am so ignorant. I'll have to google it.
I hope you write more, you're very interesting and colorful writer.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

:D !!! I am very very thankful to my brother for sharing a blog post by you on fb today, for I wouldn't have stumbled upon this blog otherwise; which I am enjoyyyying!!! You, my friend (not literally, if you might state so if i do not mention it), have an awwwwesome sense of humor! ;)