Its said to me often enough… people, mostly my friends try to relate me to television characters.
“Oh, Iya!! You are just like Doctor Cox from Scrubs!!”
“You and the Janitor (Scrubs) have so much in common!!”
“You would absolutely LOVE House!! He’s so much like you!!”
If I indeed was like these characters, I would respond in the following ways:
If I was like Doctor Cox
What the hell do you think of yourself, Suzie? You think that television is real? Is that how pathetic your life is? You sit around in your boxers and make relate your friends with TV characters? That’s just dandy. That’s also pathetic. Not only is it reeeeheeeaaly pathetic, but its downright saaaad. Or maybe it’s just something you do during your “that time of the month, huh, Melinda? Should I buy you some tampons? What’s your brand?
If I was like the Janitor
• I would intimidate the aforementioned person with intimidation tactics
• Psychologically break that person down
• Torment him/her with his/her buried past or whatnot
• Give him/her the evil eye
• Make him/her awkward at any and every opportunity
If I was like House
I think you are an idiot, true… but I also think that there is a reason you try and find solace in TV shows. Were you picked on as a kid? Were you abused? If you were, I’m sure you can find some counseling somewhere. I’m sure they’d have a blast with you. I know so; because I enjoy watching you try and relate me to a fictional character so much. Or maybe you are just a snobby little know it all who was pampered too much. You were, weren’t you? You were a snob who was abused? Oh, your shrink is gonna have a field day on you.
But I DON’T react like this. I mostly smile and nod. I DON’T want to put my friends down. I only call guys’ random girls’ names only SOMETIMES. I don’t torment someone with his/her buried past if I don’t know about it, and I DON’T have a limp! See? I’m not like those fictional characters… the fictional characters are like me. So there.
... and why the FUCK is it always hospital characters???