Sunday, April 15, 2007

Workplace lingo

In different places, words and phrases have different meanings. I’m going to prove this by telling you, the readers of my little bloggy, what some words mean in the world and what the same words mean in my workplace. I noticed it the other day thinking about something a co-worker said to me. It’s amazing how they differ… for ME, at least… I am going to give examples where necessary.

Here are some of the most noticeable words and phrases.

Volunteer (real world meaning)
A person who performs or offers to perform a service voluntarily
And that brings us to: voluntarily.
Voluntarily: Done or undertaken of one's own free will

Volunteer (workplace meaning)
To force or blackmail someone into doing something, without any other choice.
Example: “I have volunteered you to *insert task here* go do it. If you don’t, *insert threat here*

Task (real world meaning)
A piece of work assigned or done as part of one's duties.

Task (workplace meaning)
Whatever work that’s left lying around that someone’s too lazy to do, that can be shoved into junior staff’s faces.
Example: “I need two of our graphics designers to go *insert unrelated, unprofessional task here* and and be quick about it.”

Task distribution (real world meaning)
Distributing tasks among the staff.

Task distribution (workplace meaning)
Shoving tasks up my face.

Birthday celebration (real world meaning)
Celebrating a birthday with loved ones and friends.

Birthday celebration (workplace meaning)
Spending hard earned cash to feed people you are not comfortable with.

Promotion (real world meaning)
The act of promoting or the fact of being promoted; advancement.

Promotion (workplace meaning)
*same as birthday celebration*

Yes, fellow readers… this post is written because of the unjust atmosphere of my workplace. I guess that’s just some of the things I got to deal with to make money… but don’t be surprised if, one fine day you see a bloody rampage reported on the news.

20 comments:

Zoe said...

Please note that with me, everyday means a "birthday celebration" for you. Of coz, it'll ALWAYS be your birthday everyday for me!

Happy B'day today too! *giggle!*

Shy said...

YAY!! finally an article that isnt about me :P its gud:) lov the volunteer bit so damn tru..and ofcourse the bday and promtion bit as well damn my bdays cumin up..hhhehee

finifenmaa said...

hehe... nice one u got... feel so sorry for you, but hehe, gave me a gud laugh!

vincinity of obscenity said...

@zoe:: u wish, sweetheart! hmph!

@shy:: not everything is abt u, dear

@finifemmaa:: thanx! my purpose has been fullfilled, for i have brought laughter into ur day.

AH-San said...

happy birthday!!
koba keun??

zero said...

hahahaha....

cool post...

vincinity of obscenity said...

well... im not big on feeding people... wat am i, the world food organisation?

Zoe said...

V-O-O: Sweety, *beep* it. ;))

vincinity of obscenity said...

zoe loves me, i think...

ZINGMENOT said...

ppl with lesser education call it barbaric acts. put in more educated form its called "DEVELOPMENT". We see what we are now and we try to be better for tomorrow. since tomorrow never comes my point is not justified. but seriously u forgot some things like GET WELL SOON, BON VOYAGE, FAREWELL ect.

cheerio

PS: IF I DONT MAKE ANY SENSE THEN KISS MY CHOCOLATE COLORED SALTY BALLS

bandey said...

nice...
awesome..
cant wait for more of your disturbing office humor stories...

ZINGMENOT said...

Still i would say u have to give me food.

deadloner said...

OH GADHA :p

salhi inge..

vincinity of obscenity said...

thanx u guyys!!

@bandey:: sure... there are lots of pissy things in my office so look forward to more office related topics in the future.

@zingmenot:: whatever u tell urself to sleep at night, man.

Mrs. GoDZ|LLa said...

hey.. that's super kool :D

varah salhi ingey.

ZINGMENOT said...

iya: i sleep real well and if u want i could give u a pvt view.

nomad said...

hehehe.. so very tru man =P

tinkerrrbell said...

hehe nice one! so tru of the work meaning!

vincinity of obscenity said...

hehehe... it IS true.i do a significant amount of research before writing, u know..

Nynaeve Al' Meara said...

Before starting to work, i wondered what 'sai' meant...and when i did, Good God, i wish I didnt here that word ever..every occasion be it attending a workshop abroad, bday, wedding, coming back after a leave,you name it...'sai' comes up...sheesh...
by the by...cool blog:)
I won't be suprised!!!:D