Sunday, November 25, 2007

Thin and popular? sheeeeeesh!

Think about this… all you fat people… you were picked on when you were kids… by thin people, and popular people. With their fat jokes. Fat jokes that weren’t so witty. I have the solution for you. Thin jokes. Popular jokes. I’m gonna start all you fat bastards on your way to mocking those thin arrogant popular jerks in a way that they wouldn’t know how to come back from. lets face it... just 'coz you are thin and popular doesnt mean you are immune to mockery.

Notice: for best results, get an accomplice to play along with you. I guarantee you that the fuck-ness level of the victim will be elevated.

For the purposes of display, lets make a fictional character John, who is thin… and Matt, who is popular.

You: Do you know why John was the teacher’s pet?
Accomplice: ‘coz he was handsome?
You: No. He resembled her favorite pencil.

You: Do you know why John likes toothpicks?
Acc: no…
You: He’s very close with his cousins.

You: John won the most efficient janitor award!
Acc: REALLY??
You: yea… he’s also a mop, you know…

You: Do you know Matt is going bankrupt?
Acc: I didn’t know…
You: yea… there’s no market for attention whores.

You: Osama Bin Laden was captured…
Acc: No WAY!!!
You: yea… Matt knows a guy who knows a guy who knows Osama’s left nut.

You: Ever notice Matt’s friends face AWAY from him most of the time?
Acc: I did. Why is that?
You: They know he likes to kiss ass.


There you have it. A starter kit to your comeback arsenal. Long gone are the days when the fatso cowered back when he was bombarded with fat jokes. Now all you fatties revolt in cellulite filled unity!

Don’t say I never did anything for ya!

26 comments:

Matt said...

Damn you you prick!! im going to string a chain of tall jokes and paste them on the top of the VOM anntena for you to read!!!

bulhaa said...

dissapointing post.

it started out marvellously. good theory.

but the jokes..
the jokes are LAME.

sheesh. couldnt u have come up with something better?

The Dark One said...

hahaaha was wondering when you were gonna post it.. nice one keep it up.

vincinity of obscenity said...

@matt:: oookaaayyyy, matt, breathe!! I'm sure u can get many people to laugh, coz no one wud wanna appear unpopular and NOT laugh at ur jokes.

@bulhaa:: its still better than "captain underpants". and i really dont care what u think.

@sath:: thum ney pukaaraa aur hum chaley aaey!

I-kko said...

cool jokes!
i like!

shweeeeet! said...

hehe..wow..now that was something..
i dunno why bulhaa found it lame..
i uh..like them
specially the pencil one..hehe
good work!
and yes, uve done something for us =p

Shanu said...

The theory is nice..jokes i have to agree with bulha..

O h and i am fat and popular .. i wonder what that makes me

vincinity of obscenity said...

@i-kko:: thanx, gal!

@shweet:: i know.. i am considerate, aint it?

@shanu:: long time no c!! matt is fat and popular too. that just makes u a fat attention whore. just like matt. adios.

bandey said...

bulhaa thinks shes funny but actually not. and she doenst get real humour, except from trampling on dead cats and screaming like a rat!!

bulhaa said...

[kicks bandey around with a rat like scream]

letoh said...

kewl post man. .btw it still sounds a bit gay

bandey said...

dude you are gay...

vincinity of obscenity said...

@bandey:: #1- true, true...
#2- me or letoh?

@bulhaa:: there will be no violence on my comment page!! verbal abuse is acceptable, though.

@letoh:: dude, sure ur sister is a bit masculine... but doing her doesnt make me gay.

letoh said...

heehhe...well come on man...no need to hide in the closet..don't be embarrassed...we would accept you for who you are.... no need to hide....kekkek.

btw it was my sister who told me that thinks you are gay cuz you ended up in tears when she gave ya a seductive look...

vincinity of obscenity said...

dont try to pin it on me just coz u cant get me in the sack, man. i dont drive on that side of the road.

gud luck in ur ventures, though. im sure u'd make some guy very happy.

letoh said...

awww you are so sweeeet... same to you...why don't ya give me your number "Hunk".. keke

btw seriously...kewl blog man, .

vincinity of obscenity said...

already told u, i dont swing that way, dude... sheeeeesh! get a hint.

and thanx for droppin by.

cute kat princez said...

hei...i got the jokes ...but still...are u so fat??? O.o u sound jealous of thin ppl

Anonymous said...

duuuudee,..great post!! luv it.

umm...wonder if bulhaa is a sphynx?!..juss so she gets it, u shuda fabricated the jokes with more cats in em...u knw, humour her! kekeke and dude abt that chick..my guts tell me or else i'd be outta ma frikkin mind that u wudn b kut down unless she managed to knock on ur mojo with an impressive point under the new rating system!!! LOL

vincinity of obscenity said...

@CKP:: you should see me in person. judge for urself if im fat.

@anonymous:: who the FUCK are you?? either ur fucking drunk, high, or plain crazy. OR you could be some one i know... either way ur fucked.

Anonymous said...

finally! hats off 2 u mister..who eva u r ...heheh...im always made fun of cos im fat!! but why on earth r u standing up for the fat ones??? r u fat? or u have a fat sis or gf or something??? who got picked on and u got damn angry abt it...hehehe anyway whateva it is i think that was AWESOME! :)hehe

vincinity of obscenity said...

@anonymous:: im not standing up for anyone. i just think thin ppl and popular ppl shudnt be immune to mockery. we are all equals and have equal mockery rights. so mock on.

Anonymous said...

can v go out on a date mr ego guy??? hehe :P

vincinity of obscenity said...

i think u got the wrong blog. ur looking for http://mregoguywhodatesanonymouspeople.blogspot.com

good luck!

nynaeve said...

be proud o mighty one for you have done your good deed for the century:P

kaleyfake said...

i totally agree here with being equals. Wonder wat else can be concidered in equal worth a blog subject?! think man THINK!!! :D keke..cool post though.