Think about this… all you fat people… you were picked on when you were kids… by thin people, and popular people. With their fat jokes. Fat jokes that weren’t so witty. I have the solution for you. Thin jokes. Popular jokes. I’m gonna start all you fat bastards on your way to mocking those thin arrogant popular jerks in a way that they wouldn’t know how to come back from. lets face it... just 'coz you are thin and popular doesnt mean you are immune to mockery.
Notice: for best results, get an accomplice to play along with you. I guarantee you that the fuck-ness level of the victim will be elevated.
For the purposes of display, lets make a fictional character John, who is thin… and Matt, who is popular.
You: Do you know why John was the teacher’s pet?
Accomplice: ‘coz he was handsome?
You: No. He resembled her favorite pencil.
You: Do you know why John likes toothpicks?
You: He’s very close with his cousins.
You: John won the most efficient janitor award!
You: yea… he’s also a mop, you know…
You: Do you know Matt is going bankrupt?
Acc: I didn’t know…
You: yea… there’s no market for attention whores.
You: Osama Bin Laden was captured…
Acc: No WAY!!!
You: yea… Matt knows a guy who knows a guy who knows Osama’s left nut.
You: Ever notice Matt’s friends face AWAY from him most of the time?
Acc: I did. Why is that?
You: They know he likes to kiss ass.
There you have it. A starter kit to your comeback arsenal. Long gone are the days when the fatso cowered back when he was bombarded with fat jokes. Now all you fatties revolt in cellulite filled unity!
Don’t say I never did anything for ya!