Monday, April 21, 2008

Psychological Disorder Syndrome

There’s a fit of psychological disorders running amok in Male’ at the moment. It’s not usual to have a psychological epidemic. But us Maldivians have never had proper psychological awareness. We have to stop these things before it gets worse. And it IS pretty bad as it is. Here are just SOME of the more noticeable syndromes and disorders and whatnot.

Extremist Fanatic Disorder
EFD is a very common type of disorder we see in Maldivian youth today. It manifests itself when someone is extremely manipulate-able or gullible and/or impressionable (i.e. stupid) it may be religious fanatic-ism in which case, you might be able to identify them by the following attributes:

Long sleeved shirts, not short, yet not long pants, unkempt beard and more than one wife. Usually EFD patients suffer from EHS (Exceptionally Hypocrite Syndrome). And talk such banter as: “JIHAADH!! Let us blow those unarmed harmless tourists to smithereens because of no other reason than they are of Christian or other descent!! Death to all infidels because that’s what religion is all about!!”
Proceed with caution if you are in close proximity of a EFD patient.

Maumoon Blaming Syndrome
MBS is the most common of all the disorders of this country. It is infectious in nature. Scientist have yet to decipher a cure for this most annoying psychological ailment. This, since yet untreatable, is to be avoided, or just managed. It can be identified by the banter of the infected.

“Damn! My wife cheated on me with my best friend! Its all Maumoon’s fault! Damn him and his government for making my wife realize that my business trips were actually party trips!!”
“I found pigeon shit on my windshield. Damn Maumoon and his pigeon breeding government!! Maumoon shouldn’t have let me park illegally on the street without a permit!”
“There’s a blister on my penis… DAMN MAUMOON!! His government!! Damn it to hell! His government shouldn’t have let me sleep with that prostitute!!”

This is an incurable syndrome… infection… I’m not sure anymore… just give others a break. When you feel like blaming Maumoon for everything, shut the fuck up. It’s annoying.

Sand In Vagina Syndrome
Don’t let the name fool you. SIVS affects both the sexes. Symptoms include complaining about each and everything. Squinting face and acting in a way that resembles a woman with sand in her vagina. Thus the name SIVS. Most in most “reformists” in all the “political parties”.
Identifiable banter include:

“The people at the *insert political party* took away our rights! We have the right to party! Why cant we drink and booze all we want in a muslim country?”
“The *insert political party* are a bunch of retards! They never listen to us! And they are mean! HMPH!!”
“blah blah blah blah blah *insert political party* blah blah blah promise blah blah blah reform blah blah blah sticks up our ass blah blah blah blah rights for all criminals.. I mean… people!

Brothers and sisters! People of all ages! Listen and listen well. Let us not let these psychological traumas fill our shit hole of a home! We should not let ourselves be consumed with these … eerr… ummm…. Stuff.

23 comments:

mode said...

yo man. u hav a good working mind.

Anonymous said...

People are full of pride and come up with all the bogus to complain.We need Humanity.

bulhaa said...

sand in vagina. beautiful.

Nynaeve Al' Meara said...

lol:) I suppose this updates the medical dictionary:D

long time...hows you been?

Anonymous said...

Fuckin shit legacy of pain. U think u know everything shit about psych. u shit hole. LOL

grysko said...

i like Maumoon Blaming Syndrome

Arkturus said...

all funny and all too true. :P

sand in vagina. did you get that from south park? ^_^

great post. keep em coming! \m/

Persephone said...

That last anonymous guy cannot get humour. Maumoon shouldn't have let him access your blog.

Creative piece, as always.

Iya said...

@mode:: thanx, i guess...

@anonymous 1:: i dont think its pride, dude.

@bulhaa:: YOU would know sand in vagina.

@nynaeve:: i've been good. and it updates much more than just a medical dictionary.

@anonymous 2::you seem to be in love with the word shit. you must have a close affiliation.

@grysko:: god have mercy on your soul... you've been infected too!

@arkturus:: i really dont watch south park. maybe i should start!

@persephone:: more people infected... we have to stop it before its too late!! thanx for dropping by! just dont leave the virus here!

moyameehaa said...

interesting.i think there are even more...but u are damn lazy to write more maybe. ok. i will give one more...maybe that would help you write more.kekeke

it is called BSAGH (blame someone/thing and get high)....a typical example could be.."no one loves me, i dint pass the exam.my salary is not enough for me to buy an O2 and honda wave in the same month. so i will spend thrice that amount and start using drugs.

:p

Zingmenot said...

well ummm hmmmm interesting. cant figure out what its about but i think the cafaine level in ur blood is low to have thought these syndromes. well either way it always takes a creative nerdy guy to show what inteligent ppl lack. good work. but i think u need more coffee and a nice big fat sweet smelling cigar and my company.

Iya said...

@moyameehaa:: well, i wanted to throw pun at the polical scene... something i havent done. i didnt want to pick the NORMAL disorders out there. that would be too big of a study for me alone!!

@zing:: your comment doesnt make sense other than the fact that you want to treat me to a coffee and cigar. which is always ok with me.

shAf said...

I wanna have a syndrome. EFD? MBS? SIVS? I think I have EFD! :D No?

nasru said...

i agree wit moya meeha

thuized said...

Any cures for these syndromes?

Thom said...

moyameeha LOL.. oh such a good point man...
i have the IDGAS syndrome... (thtd be i.dont.give.a.shit) :P kekeke. cant somehow get rid of all of these?
along with the two letter boy bands? aka bg, tc wat not?

The Shadowrunner said...

This, my friend - is EPIC in nature.

Anonymous said...

damn maumoon for letting iya look so sexy ...his government shouldn't have let iya's mom mate with his dad....U KNOW WHO I M "ROXY"!!

The Shadowrunner said...

@Anonymous2: Be afraid. Very afraid.
AHAHAHHAHHAHAHAAA~~~~~~~~~

exotic said...

lol, youre one bored motherfucker.

shaari said...

how about JKFB (just kill the fucking bastard)? i think it suits the political scene as well as the violent youth mentality...

Ameer said...

MBS!!!! LOLZ

Thom said...

shaari..
kekek
totally man.