Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Beyfulhism

I don’t know about you, but I hate ‘beyfulhu’ people. They expect to be treated special. They prance around like they are better than everyone else. Sure, so do I, but in my case, it’s actually true. And to top it all off, Theres a special language to speak to them. What the fuck?
You all know what I’m talking about. The ‘maaih bahuruvaa’. Last time I checked, ’maaih’ means holy… or something. The stupid-ness of this whole holy language business is absurdly… well… stupid. Why the fuck do we have to put up with that?
Let’s suppose there is a beyfulheez couple that talks to each other in the holy language. And they are doing it. Below is what I gather would be sex talk between them. You know… kinky talk.

Man: Alhugandu mi ulhuvvanee thiya beyfulhaa ge iffaitherikan nagaalan (I am going to violate you)

Woman: Aadhe! Alhugandu jismakee thiya beyfulhaa ge hihfulhah eri gotheh hadhdhavanhuriechcheh! (Yes! Do what you want to my body!)

Man: Thiya beyfulhaage furagas faraathuga alhugandu baarah aih is kuraanan (I’m gonna spank you)

Woman: Aih is kuravvaa! Adhives baarah, ingeythoa! (Spank me! Harder!)

Man: Kaaku thoa thiya beyfulhaage bappaafulhakee? (Who’s your daddy?)

Woman: Thiyaee alhugandu bappaafulhu!! (You’re my daddy!!)

Man: Ehen viyyaa ehen vidhaalhuvey, kuththaa kamanaa! (Then say it, bitch!)

Woman: THEE ALHUGANDUGE BAPPAAFULHU!!! (YOU’RE MY DADDY!!!)

Man: Alhugandu vadaigannavanee! (I’m coming!)

Woman: Labba! Labba! (Yes! Yes!)

Man: ALHUGANDU VADAIGANNAVANEE!! (I’M COMING!!)

*squirt*

On second thought, the holy language is kinda funny… but beyfulhism still sucks ass.

21 comments:

Inan said...

I seriously lol'd. good one (as usual)

Anonymous said...

Servant of the Bedchamber corrects the Lady of the House:

eri gotheh noon, erruvi gotheh ma saahibaa.

Huri nubai nulafaakan. Dhoo burikuravvaashi. Dost thou, dare correct me thou vile ignorant bucket of unclutured scum!!? Off with her head!!

bulhaa said...

lol. good one.

Iya said...

@inan:: thanx, man. means a lot that u "lol'd" :D

@anonymous:: oooooookaaaayyyy....

@bulhaa:: i know.

paperclippenny said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA .... this definitely made my day =D

Shanu said...

ohh.. verivadaigenfi!

Republic of Amnesia said...

Honestly dear. I was going to call my new blog Beyfulhism. Cannot agree with you more. I am writing a detailed article on the topic as I speak, but thanks for that. I love it!!

CK said...

hehehe well done buddy! This is hilarious and brings out your point about beyfulhism as well! Thanks for a great post dude!

ozilch said...

well there are those of whom are pretty cross when they cant be born as such... i mean why bring up the story now.. there are those of whom arent quite as u expect them to be.. ya i do experience the language bt at sex.. dude! u better do a double rain check on it... nyways .. it was worth a try.. there should ve' been a better concept.. not the sex..

iekko said...

Oh my fucking god! Seriously dude this is hilarious lol i can't stop laughing! Haha. I was gonna write about this too. I even hate the so called "beyfulhism" but yeah its fucking hilarious too. This is brilliant. One piece!

Cute Kat Princez said...

lol...v russel peters ingey...:P....

hehehehhehe

but realli kool ingey...v funny....

alhugandu mithanun vadaiganavaneee....:P

biesss.:P

Iya said...

@paper clip penny:: good to know.

@shanu:: thats not very lady like, you know...

@Rep. of amnesia:: well, be sure to drop me a link to your 'detailed' beyfulhism blog, then. :D

@ozilch:: dude, grow a funny bone or something. and what the FUCK is a double rain check?

@iekko:: ooookaaayyyy... thanx for being so ... umm... enthusiastic. appreciate it. :D

@CKP:: Russel Peters, huh? you think i got a chance as a stand up comedian?

nava said...

No where near Russel peters funny, but it tickled my funny bone.

Also wanna say civilization to advance and grow a certain elite always comes up. And thus royal families of Maldives archived a higher mark by usage of higher level of linguistics. Its better to preserve our culture and devolve into bushman of Africa. our culture is deep and old, although a great deal of history is lost today.

BTW iam not a bay-fulhu

Just a Dhivehi islander (we are not a simple people)

The Shadowrunner said...

AWESOMENESS OF THIS ARTICLE...

ITS OVER 9000!!!.

Iya said...

@nava:: dude, we are all islanders here. i was born on the capital ISLAND and grew up here. i've been to the rural islands as well. royality is extinct. just because people used to have slaves before doesnt mean we get slaves now. however hot a kinky slave girl might sound. beyfulhism is crap.

@shadowrunner:: 9000 out of WHAT?

Thom said...

we-ell.. wat do u call ass kissers to higher order of people? face it.. some people arn higher and do better in life and thus have a lot of employees whatever.. check out yaameen for instance and his multitude of servants.. aka slaves... seriously... the mentality is not dead. we just dont call 'em royalty anymore. i doubt its going anywhere.. coz therell always be ass kissers. :P
anyway.. i grew up arnd such bey-fucks.. can you imagine? wen a kid throws up they go (to their own child mind you)e beyfulhaa nappy fulhah hees lavvavaifi! thi beyfulha naanaa fulhu fillavan vadain!!!
yikes! does answer the question about over inflated egos though :P
awesome article :) i miss chatting dude!! wheres our boredom NGO???

Iya said...

hey THOM!! glad you're back! you certainly seem to know a lot. if i didnt know any better i'd think YOU were one of them.

the NGO is on hold, considering you fell off the map.

Thom said...

lol. im not. i happen to have been forced to interact with a lot when i was young and naive and believed parents knew shit.
i know better now
:P
i knowwwww. im on the map again!!!
gonna bulog soon. just that im fuelled by life... which has been on standstill for a while :P!!!
:D

shaari said...

manikufaanuge firihen-hashikolhu ragalhah haruvelavvaifitho? ehenviyya las nukuraavva avahah ethereah vannavanvee noontho

Nynaeve said...

you crack me up, seriously:D

sowi i havent been around much...wasnt busy, just not around the world of thoughts!

bluebooze said...

ahahhahahhah *dies*