Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Earth Ending Epidemic (E.E.E)

Maldives is facing a lot of crises at the moment. Tsunami victims still in tents. Teachers walking out of schools. Ugly “monuments”. Grotesque orange/yellow painted houses everywhere. These are just SOME of the catastrophic things going on. But we have a bigger concern. One that will destroy us all if it’s not stopped. Something that scares the living shit out of me. Something that might be single handedly responsible for the extinction of humankind. Yes. It’s THAT serious. And I’m risking my life in writing this, so listen up. The cataclysmic catastrophe that will end humanity is:

Bimbo infestation.

You know what I’m talking about. They’re everywhere. They’re in your homes, in your workplace and even in your families. It’s contagious. Even more so than a… umm… contagious… thing.

A person infected with the bimbo virus is infected with a disease called Bimboitis stupidutis. We’ll just call it bimboism. Bimboism is a disease that is spread due to repeated direct contact with a bimbo. The only good thing about this is that it spread to the female gender. Well, I didn’t say it was good for EVERYONE, did I? Symptoms include nagging voice, squealing, self centeredness, unbelievable stupidity and being easier than usual girls. Ok, so there are TWO good things.

They seem like normal people, but you can identify them by interacting with them. Just be sure to interact with them in small doses. Let me provide an example of the level of their stupidity.

So I was at the ferry to go to the airport, when I met someone in knew. Let’s call her Susan. Hadn’t met her in a long time. And I used to know her pretty well. I was waiting for someone, so I didn’t get on the ferry. I said hi to Susan, and waited. And the ferry took off. “Wait… is it leaving?”, asked Susan. “Either that or they are checking to see if it can go backwards.” I replied, kind of annoyed. Clue one: obvious questions. Then she said something that confirmed her bimboism. “that’s the second ferry that’s left without me”. So I asked why she hadn’t got on the ferry if she wanted to go. “I kept thinking there was ten minutes left”. I was shocked! I knew this person! Susan used to be an okay person! What the hell was going on? When was she bimbofied?

It can strike anywhere, anytime to anyone. Scientists and doctors and psychiatrists are working hand in hand, around the clock to find a cure for this most disturbing and dangerous of conditions. “This is the biggest thing to hit us since AIDS. We are very excited for the challenge, since we gave up hope for an AIDS cure years ago”, said Dr. Ticklemydick, a very important doctor of a very important medical association.

All I can say is… God have mercy on our souls… or something.

16 comments:

bulhaa said...

reminds me of that movie where the end result of natural selection is that the world is full of incredibly stupid people. [because the smart people are not having too many kids, and the stupid ones are impregnating each other left and right]

its happening.

mode said...

any preventive measures? any cure? not that im going to catch though..
like bulhaa said. this reminds me of the movie Idiocracy!!

The Shadowrunner said...

I may have not found a cure, but I have distilled a serum that may prevent the disease in my lab.

There is hope yet.

Bakhabaru said...

Hey, is this where I should write comments? How does this thing work. Hmmm... where's my keyboard? Oh here.... oops, silly me.

Iya said...

@bulhaa:: i know its happening. just look at YOU.

@mode:: never saw the movie. and like i said, a cure is in the works.

@shadowrunner:: maybe you should keep you "serum" in your "lab". for everyone's safety.

@bakhabaru:: did you find your keyboard yet? damn keyboards are so hard to find! i spent like 10 minutes looking for it before replying to these comments.

paperclippenny said...

I was reading your post when i came across the phrase, 'Something that scares the living shit out of me', then i knew that things was seriously bad.

And oh not that i want to terrify you guys any more than usual but i've actually run across a male bimbo

Anonymous said...

susan should cut back on the grass

Frostmourne said...

I used to dig your hate-blog for quite the while till it's turned into this circus of jokes. Anyhow, I think Bimbo is the better version of women where we get to fuck without compromise. Think about it, they look hot, they can't calculate and they feel good in bed. See Bulhaa here? That shit is fat, ugly and intelligent. Would be like fucking a water bed. Ease the panic, the world's got a long way to go.

Iya said...

@paperclippenny:: there arent any male bimbos. the correct termimology would be 'fucktard'

@anonymous:: unfortunately susan wasnt the one on grass. :p

@frostmourne:: well, dude, its not that i dont like ranting, its just that im somewhat happy these days. as for bulhaa, she's not fat, ugly OR intelligent. though i think she would be like a waterbed in bed, though. inanimate.. BUUURRRNNN!!

The Shadowrunner said...

lol fucktard. My kind of language.

Imagine if I was able to create a chemical compound that caused bimboism, and I sprayed the entire city with the stuff. Thats more evil than the Nerve Gas Plot and 9/11 combined!

iekko said...

i pray for almighty lord. may you save me from this bimboitis! amen.

Thom said...

Frostmourne... and certain people are proof that it doesn't just spread around to men. I believe the whole thing has a lot to do with the rising important of aesthetics... and celebrity culture.
Anyway. I sorta disagree(I hardly ever do with you Iya :P so it's a first)... am I the only one who thinks men killing each other and the alpha male syndrome is equal to idiocy? Well it is. And certain Seezans who think a little hair gel = greatness? What about dudes trying to pierce their ears and preaching about how fucking cool they are and how they're gonna be the next fucking Kurt Cobain?They went to Colombo and they've seen the world? They pop E and they think their 'like soo cool man!!' While bitching about how unhappy life is and how much they've gotten laid (while in reality they've been sobbing about some chick who's playing them like fuck). And thats all their brains contain. Nothing of value.
I see a hell of of 'em.. increasing in number. A lot of ladies too...definitely. Dumb ones.. all around I know. then again men prefer Bimbos. Really, less intimidating. And besides... if you've got boobs and ass.. no one pays attention to your brains anyway. And if you're ugly they don't listen to you.
So.. I mean... its all in circles eh? I've seen perfectly good women act dumb simply because thats the only way you can manipulate men. :P

Thom said...

Ooops. Its so long. I'm sorry!!

Iya said...

oh, dear god, you are at your "hate all things with penises" phase again? daim, girl.

oh, and no apologies. nice to see you at the comments box again!

thuized said...

i wonder wat the world wud be like without bimboism....a decrease in the population growth probly

nynaeve said...

what about the ever infesting "dho" phrase in every sentence these days???? its herrible!