Maldives is facing a lot of crises at the moment. Tsunami victims still in tents. Teachers walking out of schools. Ugly “monuments”. Grotesque orange/yellow painted houses everywhere. These are just SOME of the catastrophic things going on. But we have a bigger concern. One that will destroy us all if it’s not stopped. Something that scares the living shit out of me. Something that might be single handedly responsible for the extinction of humankind. Yes. It’s THAT serious. And I’m risking my life in writing this, so listen up. The cataclysmic catastrophe that will end humanity is:
You know what I’m talking about. They’re everywhere. They’re in your homes, in your workplace and even in your families. It’s contagious. Even more so than a… umm… contagious… thing.
A person infected with the bimbo virus is infected with a disease called Bimboitis stupidutis. We’ll just call it bimboism. Bimboism is a disease that is spread due to repeated direct contact with a bimbo. The only good thing about this is that it spread to the female gender. Well, I didn’t say it was good for EVERYONE, did I? Symptoms include nagging voice, squealing, self centeredness, unbelievable stupidity and being easier than usual girls. Ok, so there are TWO good things.
They seem like normal people, but you can identify them by interacting with them. Just be sure to interact with them in small doses. Let me provide an example of the level of their stupidity.
So I was at the ferry to go to the airport, when I met someone in knew. Let’s call her Susan. Hadn’t met her in a long time. And I used to know her pretty well. I was waiting for someone, so I didn’t get on the ferry. I said hi to Susan, and waited. And the ferry took off. “Wait… is it leaving?”, asked Susan. “Either that or they are checking to see if it can go backwards.” I replied, kind of annoyed. Clue one: obvious questions. Then she said something that confirmed her bimboism. “that’s the second ferry that’s left without me”. So I asked why she hadn’t got on the ferry if she wanted to go. “I kept thinking there was ten minutes left”. I was shocked! I knew this person! Susan used to be an okay person! What the hell was going on? When was she bimbofied?
It can strike anywhere, anytime to anyone. Scientists and doctors and psychiatrists are working hand in hand, around the clock to find a cure for this most disturbing and dangerous of conditions. “This is the biggest thing to hit us since AIDS. We are very excited for the challenge, since we gave up hope for an AIDS cure years ago”, said Dr. Ticklemydick, a very important doctor of a very important medical association.
All I can say is… God have mercy on our souls… or something.